December 19, 2017


What is your position at Swell-o-Phonic/

The reason they come in!

What's your favorite thing about working here?

Customers bringing in treatz. Sneaking onto the porch @ Roosters to eat friez

What's your least favorite?

People who don't bring treatz! They also asked me to not pee or poop inside anymore..

Before working at Swell-O-Phonic/, what was the most unusual or interesting job you've ever had?

Well, I started here @ exactly 4 weeks old - this has been my only job. I guess the only job I had before that was licking my own butt klean!

What's your most embarrassing moment at work?

Well I farted real loud - well really not embarrassing for me - but they thought Chane did it instead. I acted like he did 2 and got away from him to amp it up!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

I'm pretty much the coolest thing I know - so I guess "me" - I know I don't wanna be like Chane b/c he has to deal w/ too many a-holes!

Complete this sentence: When I'm not at work I can be found:

Scamming dog treatz. I have a nice hill at home to poop on too.

How old is the oldest pair of shoes in your closet?

Well, unlike my cheapwad owner who only has 1 pr - I actually don't have any but would be glad to chew yours.

If you were an animal, what would you be?

A jackass.

What, or who, are you a "closet" fan of?

Well, maybe Chane - He's a real jackass

If you had to eat one meal, every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Butt flavored dog food and pizza and bbq chips and Frosted Flakes and bacon - was that more than 1?

What book did you read last?

Too busy sniffing buttz and peeing on the sidewalk

Tell an interesting fact about yourself.

I have donky ears, a pork belly, a hawk paw, a turkey neck, a tiger tail, a chikin butt, bbq ribs, and my street name is Monkey Business and Pisscaso cause I can pee when I walk & it looks cool. 

I can bark about 19 times without breathing & can crush out a silent fart that will empty an entire room.

I am the champion sticks + ball gettin' dog, the most treats-scamming dog, the #1 hero dog & my middle name is "DAMMIT"!

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